Its June....its actually June...!!! which means I have ten weeks before I fly to the Philippines, I would like to say that I am totally calm inside that I have everything under control and things are flowing nice and smoothly....
But its me we are talking about... we are also talking about a massive move!!! which basically means there is a ton of things to do and organization is not one of my gifts. For example..... take lists. Many people have suggested that I make a list. This is a good idea... a very practical idea that all sorts of people use...and most people find it works really well. I don't what it is with me and lists...I am not sure I have met anyone with the kind of aversion to lists that I have... I think its actually abnormal. I avoid writing lists, and when I finally do, I rarely look at. The other week I hunkered down and created my "Master List". I wrote it, looked at it, then forgot it on the coffee table, eventually it made its way to my room, and now I don't even know where it is..... Why? I don't know... too overwhelming? don't know where to start?
Anyway the good news is, it finally hit my the other day that I had discovered a list style in Bible College that helped me organize my homework projects. I put a list item on a sticky note, and stick these sticky notes on a piece of paper or some kind of board. Then I arrange the sticky notes in order of priority. Every day or even throughout I can rearrange my list as needed. It has been working so well last week that it has given me some aid in reducing stress levels.
Unfortunately there are some things on the list I am struggling to actually get done. This month has been set aside as "Minimize life, month" or "Exodus of possession". Basically it means I have to start getting rid of stuff. My goal is get all my personal things down to the two suite cases I will take with to the Philippines and the hope chest that will stay back in Canada. That means....I have to get rid of a LOT of stuff. probably three quarters of things that have been accumulating over the years. too much stuff! its not even like I can blame someone else for my collection of things, I have alway had a hard time throwing things away. So I went into my room a few days ago to start the process. I thought I would start with my closet, where my dressy things live. I just stood there, with an orange garbage beg in my hand and stared at the dresses, skirts and scarves, some so old I've had since I was 12 and others reverently given to me. Every time I reached for an item to put it in he beg, I kept finding an excuse, "This one is too old to give away but not damaged enough to toss" "This one was a gift from someone" "This one is ugly but its one of my favorite lounging dresses" about 60 seconds of this I dropped the beg and went back upstairs, feeling overwhelmed and maybe a little pathetic. More recently I did manage to tackle two boxes, boy, that's an emotional ordeal.... going through old mementos and pictures.... some things I have hung onto over the years really is junk and I could not for the life of me figure out why I kept it... things like erasers....I mean really? other things were an obvious keep, such as my Grandpa's painting box he handed down to me, my college year book (boy that can get the water works going, looking at good times gone by) and pictures of my siblings and I. But then there is a whole pile of "I don't know's" for example, "should I pack some of my paints? probably not but I don't want to toss them, but then who is going to want cheap paint?" What do you do with old Cassatt tapes?" "I can't just throw out ten make up brushes can I?" and "I totally forgot about this red purse!! but I probably shouldn't pack three purses!" okay you get the gist, basically what I need is for someone to come in make an executive decision about what stays and what goes and doesn't tell me what they got rid of, cause chances are I will never know the difference!!
So I still have a long road ahead in regards to organizing my life. But some things are flowing. I have visited several churches and I think it is going really well and I have been getting a little a lot of encouragement from church members. It has amazed me to see how God is opening doors for me last few months. 6 weeks ago I was getting nervous about finances, There were some concerned looks coming from fellow Christians about the fact that I had no one saying they were give to the mission. But as I prayed about it, the result was always a feeling of complete peace and knowing that God is in control, I truly understand the phrase "Peace that passes Understanding" because I am surprised at how calm I have been in that regard, It is not at all normal for me to feel peace about a lack of finances. The only time I start begin to panic is when I start thinking about how odd it is that I am not panicking and seeing other people's worried expressions. My name for this: The Walking on Water Effect. When your eyes are on Jesus, walking on water is just another day out at sea, but once your eyes look down at what you are actually doing you start realizing how crazy this is, you start panicking.... and....splash!! So I know that in order to do this I have to keep my eyes on my Savior. Now what is exciting is that these last few weeks people and churches have come forward to say that they wish to support me both prayfully and financially. I have felt very humbled and grateful by this, and I give all glory to God. I can feel God guiding me through this fundraising process; He is the caption, I am in the vessel, I would go nowhere without Him. People have been asking me if I have enough finances, and the simple answer is... I don't really know, but I'm not that worried. I am not doing pledges for finances, I don't feel called to go the route. I do feel called to go in Faith and allow God to lead. I believe I will get exactly what God wants me to have. Now before you start thinking that I am completely dauntless in my Faith, I am not. yes I am not consumed with worry about my finances but I have moments, moments where I look down at the water under my feet, and I start doubting, freaking out and thinking that maybe I should not have left the safety of my boat. Thankfully Jesus is always there to catch when I fall and its easy to find his gaze again.
I got back from Prince Georgia the other day where I visited a church, I felt very encouraged while there and got to meet a missionary couple who have been in the ministry for over 30 years! there story is amazing and I found it to be very inspirational. They were very encouraging and I found it gave me strength.
I have about four more churches to visit, two of them in Calgary, and a few more locally. I love visiting both, it has been so incredible to speak at the local churches as I am so passionate about connection my community with this ministry of rescuing and nurturing women in the Philippines. I also love meeting with churches further from Vavenby, I get to meet new people as well as strengthen old connections.
In other news. I am working on the ranch this summer....about 30 hours a week. Mostly it consists of moving sprinkler pipes. which is something I honestly wondered if I would ever have the ability to do all on my own, since it requires a good deal of physical strength and over the years I was never able to move sprinklers with grace that my brothers seemed to posses however I feel that I can successfully say that I have conquered the pipes!! maybe not as fast as some of my brothers but have only been doing it for a dew weeks. I feel very proud of the fact that I am the first girl in Aveley Ranch History to be doing the majority of the sprinkler moving! But the best part is that it is giving me such a good work out that I have been eating like a pig but fitting better into my jeans! I mean anything that will allow me to eat a little more pie... am I right?
and I digress....
Anyhow that pretty much sums up my update.... hope you are not all asleep at your computers....or mobiles.... actually you have probably just moved onto Facebook or Instagram, No judgment! I am the worst blog reader in the world!!
To sum up, my goal right now is to add calm to the crazy in all the preparation. either way my flight leaves in ten weeks eeek!!!
My big prayers request right now, is immigration visas! there is still so much to figure out in regards to applying for the missionary visa and I am waiting to hear back from someone. honestly that is the most stressful item on my list.
Meanwhile there is plenty to keep me busy :)
I should say that all though this is a very overwhelming time I really am excited. I am dreading saying goodby to my family but also look forward to being in the Philippines again and starting this new kind of work.
and on that note I shall sign off, thank you all for taking the time to read, remember that if you have any questions or want to partner with me on this journey don't hesitate to contact me!
I will leave with a photo I took the other day while doing sprinklers
P.S. does anyone need some old cheap acrylic paint.... ??
