I huddled against the window of the MRT car as it traveled easily along the rails and over the ever constant and sleepless traffic of Manila below. I was leaving the laying-in clinic in Quazon behind after five busy days, where I tried hard to speak Tagalog during prenatals, help in the delivery room ect. and soon (or in about four hours) I would leave the the giant city behind and be back in the less chaotic city of Tagaytay. Despite the fact that as the crow flies Quazon and Tagaytay are not that far from each other, the world class bad traffic of the area and the fact I was traveling on a Saturday meant the trip would be close to 6 hours in total. But as I watched the passing city streets, high rises, and homes made of tin and old cloth I couldn't help feeling a sense of pride that I was actually able to travel through this huge and very diverse city all on my own. It shocked no one more than myself. The country girl who grew up in the middle of nowhere, who vowed she would never live in the city and whom is known to have a poor sense of direction when it comes to any city, was actually becoming slightly familiar with the 18th biggest city in the world, and able to maneuver the public transportation it provided. As the stops continued and the minutes ticked by I reflected further (since there is not much else to do) of all I had learned over the last five months and all I still needed to learn in this missionary life, and although life has found a new normalcy in it I also feel I need to pinch myself every once in awhile to really believe that I am truly here, being a full time missionary...a full time long term missionary with no end date in sight at this time. Finally the city rail line came to its last stop, where I allowed myself to get swept along with the large crowd and made my way to the buses. The type of bus that I was taking would take me out of Manila and back to Tagaytay but because it was Saturday the line up for the bus was massive! I waited nearly an hour before I got ushered into one of the buses and was very thankful I got a seat and wasn't stuffed into the isle to stand for the long bus ride. By the time I arrived back in Tagaytay, I was incredibly exhausted but happy to be home....
Hello all! I hope you are doing well as you spring into spring, I hear its been a bit of a late winter in parts of Canada and the USA I know the appropriate response would be "I'm sorry," but the truth is I still think of cold weather with a longing, especially now that we are in our Filipino summer, a time of year I admit I don't really have a love for. The Moilliet blood that runs in my veins contributes to the fact that I do not do very well in the heat, especially the intense tropical heat that feel like it want to kill whoever steps out in its rays of sun. I have heard many people say "how do you handle it?" I always find this sort of humorous, as the answer to this is simple...there is no other choice. However living in Tagaytay means the summer is much more mild than Manila or even Tabuk, the evenings are still cool and there is a breeze in the afternoon, which is just heaven. Summer is also a great time for my favorite Filipino dessert, Halo-halo, which involves a lot of shaved ice, and as its name says (mix-mix) is filled with all sorts of stuff from fruit, condensed milk, ube, even corn and beans (not green). I know, I know for the North Americans listening, you are thinking it sounds odd, but it is AMAZING and it has this wonderful cooling effect, on hot afternoons. When I am grumpy from constantly being sticky and uncomfortable it has a way of calming my whole being. Summer will also bring a school break for the girls, something they are in much need of. They have been very busy with their assignments and classes and they deserve a good break from their long year. I am a hoping to be able have some quality time with the girls over the school break. Later in the summer (at the end of April) I am planning another trip to Kalinga, where I will attend a friend's wedding and be able to meet with the social worker who is interested in the future shelter in Tabuk.
The last few weeks have been very busy, which is good, as that is what I have been hoping for. I have been given some more responsibility at Safe including some of the handling of the money. All the new responsibility has allowed me to learn lots in a very short time.
Ate Naomi. her husband Andy and their baby Andrew along with a friend, Maddie, all came out for 19 days, those days went by very fast! It was so wonderful finally getting to meet Naomi. As predicted she is a wonderful human being with a heart full of love and joy and eagerness to love everyone she meets. We got to have some great talks and were able to connect and communicate about my future at safe and a little of the further future of Ellora and mine's dream to begin a shelter in Tabuk. She spent lots of time encouraging me and I truly felt a happy heart as she made sure I knew that she was thankful I was here.
With Naomi's arrival we got to go on some outings, one was to these calming falls and pools right in the city where one can swim in the fresh clean water among the tropical trees. It was so beautiful. It was wonderful for Chesa for and Emma as they are both very good swimmers and since they struggle with doing many things other people can do being able to swim and even jump off the rocks above into the deep pool below brought absolute joy to them. Some of the girls (usually the ones who have lived in Manila all their lives) didn't know how to swim and so stayed in the Shallow parts. But Maddie and I taught two of them the basics so that by the end of the day they were able to swim a little on their own. ( though I must give full credit to Maddie here as she is an actual swimming teacher and very good at it, she had them grasping the concept pretty quick) The only problem was that it wasn't really a hot day (yes even the Philippines gets cool days) but we were all determined to swim anyway, but I think I got pretty chilled that day as the next day I came down with a horrid cold, and it took me almost a week to get over it. But it was all worth it!!
We also went to Taal Mountain! which is famous because...wait for it.. its the smallest known active volcano in the world. And yes its an actual mountain! it took us about an hour to hike. At the very top one can see some steam coming out of certain pockets around the lake which is in the center of the mountain. One of the ways they describe it is, an island within a lake, within an island within a lake. Since there is a small lake within the crater lake and the mountain is on an island which is also in a lake. They also treated us to pizza twice! which was amazing! and bought a brand new tv so we don't have to use lap tops when we want to watch movies, and we can watch news so I can see whats happening in the world. We celebrated Valentines day, Ate Naomi made the day special for everyone, we made red pancakes for our afternoon snack, Kuya Andy gave out a candy rose to everyone, it made us all feel special.
one of our staff meetings (minus Ate Charisa) with Ate Naomi, ( she is in the back with her husband and son)
Valentine's day treats
Helping Emma with her Valentines project
After Ate Naomi and her family left, I went to Quezon city for 5 days. (as mentioned above) One of the midwives was going out of town and the other midwife is on rest which left Jane, the live in midwife to handle everything. So I arrived on a Monday evening to help for the week. We had three births!! Two of them that night. Finally we were actually a little busy while I was there, the last baby I got to help catch, which was great! I also did some prenatals on my own, which I was nervous about due to my poor Tagalog, but we managed! and on the day I had a lady come in who spoke very little English I had someone there to translate. it feels good to be able to do prenatals as a midwife and not as a student and to be able to say "Midwife ako" (I am a Midwife).
The baby girl I helped catch right after I did her exam, judging from my appearance, one can tell, it was an early morning entrance
I have been making myself make connections outside of Safe Refuge. It has taken me awhile to do this, as I would much rather just focus on the ministry and make that my whole life and not have other relationships to distract me. But I know thats not really healthy, and I know I need to make friends outside the ministry. It has happened Naturally in Quazon city where I am forming lots of friendships but I knew I needed some friendships in Tagaytay. So I got connected with a girl named Aicah at church whom is only a few years my senior and we have started hanging out together, discussing spiritual things and such, and through her I have started meeting other young Christian ladies. This has been really good and I feel God's hand in bringing these friendships about, and am very thankful for all these wonderful ladies. I even attended an event at one of the churches I attend, which I would not have done if not for Aicah. It was a sort of seminar on singleness. I was a little worried it was going to be a match making thing, but it wasn't at all, it was really good, and some of the best teachings on singlehood for Christians that I have heard. About learning to be content and satisfied in your signlehood but also some practical steps on maneuvering through early relationships. After, Aicah and went out with some other singles and we ate Korean food and further discussed the subject, I felt so refreshed after and so thankful to be able to discuss a topic that is very real for us single Christian ladies.
Birthdays
I turned 27 on the 8th! my twenties are whizzing by and I know my thirties and forties will go even faster...which is a depressing thought but is also useless to dwell on it unless I remind myself its that much closer to Heaven. (There is a reason for these thoughts which I will get to in a minute) Everyone at Safe made me feel very special. I went to see the movie Captain Mavel with ate Rosanna, (a supporter of Safe and former staff member) and her daughter, the movie was so good!! I got that floaty happy feeling, which always tells me that all my senses enjoyed the feature. In the evening Ate Rosanna had made two cakes, one for and one me and one for the other March birthday, Meggie. So we ate cake, and this amazing Pasta!! I received birthday wishes (thank you facebook) from Canada, Spain, Japan, and the Philippines and I think the USA. The next day I got calls from most of my siblings which was really wonderful! Although Meggie celibrated her birthday with me, on her actual birthday, March 18th I wanted to do something special, so I made natchos, and Ate Charisa's friend was here at the time and she made a kind of meat role which so good!! she also bought some sparkling Welches grape juice.
On March 10, which was March 9th in Canadian time, My grandpa, Richard Don Scruggs 93 who has been living with dementia for the last few years passed into Glory with my grandma and cousins by his side.
One of the last pictures with my Grandpa
Although this was not unexpected and none of us (including him) felt he was taken before his time, it still brought many tears, to be honest much more than I expected. Not because I didn't love him as much as a grand-daughter possibly could, but because I would much rather him be with His father in heaven, with a clear mind, and out of pain then suffering on earth. I had also been preparing myself for this for years, with a very practical mindset, so I was surprised as how much I cried when I found out. But I guess its because its always hard to say goodbye to someone, since we are not designed to say goodbye. We are designed to be united forever in eternity. And although there are teas of grief, there are also tears of joy and celebration of his beautiful life and beautiful legacy. His funeral was live streamed on facebook and I logged in at 3:00 AM to watch it in real time where it was happening at 1 PM Alberta time. I pretty much cried through the whole thing, I didn't even know I had more tears to shed. Some of the tears were for the fact that I was crying as the only Moilliet/Scruggs in the country instead of being beside my family. My older brother shared a memory for me though, which was special and made me feel close. It was really special being able to watch it all in live time. But watching the funeral brought on an intense amount of homesickness, I wanted to be there with everyone so badly, eating with them, laughing and crying together, sometimes homesickness can be so intense it takes your breath away, but I would not wish it away, because it is that feeling that makes me feel close to my family and my first home country. So that as well as my birthday has brought on a lot of sentimental thought about time, hence the depressing note on how fast time goes by.
A few metionables; Some staff members and I completed a massive project. We planned to make the office into a study room and book area, and move the office to where we will share the Beautiful Refuge shope. We recently received a bunch of donated things from Naomi which we sorted and distributed as needed. It took three days to make the switch! One day organizing the donated items, and making plans. The following week we spent another day cleaning and further organizing items in both rooms, The next day was our biggest day yet, we finished what we started on day two and moved furniture around, did more cleaning sorted books, threw things away, organized and so on. In the end we donated three big boxes and some old books and I think there may have been some other begs, to the community. It was a great way to share some of the blessings we receive. Last week I realized that Safe really needed another storage unit, so I decided I was going to donate one, I bought a tall sturdy metal rack for around 70 dollars and it has proved very helpful, especially in the final days of organizing. Thanks to all my supporters who allowed me to have extra cash to pay for it. I was so exhausted by the end of this project that I collapsed at a little after 4 PM on the final day. I woke up just before 5:30, I dragged myself back over to Safe but was so tired I thought I would have to go back to bed. But I woke up after doing some math flash cards with two of the kids. I then handed out the school allowance for the next day, after supper Ate Red and I went out to buy some medicine for one of the residents, we left at around 8 PM almost didn't get the medicine as the first drug store we went to were out of stock for one type and said we would have to go to the other branch which closed in a few minute. Frantically we grabbed a tricy which took us to the mall, it seemed the tricy drover over charged us but we were in such a hurry there was no time to argue, we ran through the mall and made it the drug store just in time! We got back a little after 9 PM and I recorded all the expenses which took me to about 10 PM, When I finally made it to bed that night. I fell asleep in minutes.
Cleaning and sorting, final product of study room seen below with the new rack
One of ate Carissa's friends was here for a few days, she taught a poetry workshop, it was very moving and helped the girls to open up. Many of them are clearly natural poets. I took part as well, and I realized how much I love poetry and was happy to be able to learn and practice more. I haven't written a poem in awhile and it felt good.
PJ is doing well! Growing well, though when I was away for 5 days I was told he barely ate and it was clear he had lost weight. I am hoping the next time I go away he won't get so depressed. He really gives me a lot of of Joy and I am always so thankful that God brought Him to my door, he is proving to be a great comfort when I am feeling sad or homesick. There is something so very therapeutic about animals.
Baking continues to be a hit!!
The other week ate Hermy took my to People's Park, it shows an amazing view of the whole city!
A friend of ate Rosanna gave a bunch of strawberry plants which we transplanted in our little backyard
Language update
Language is still much slower than I would like, but there is improvement especially when I stop to realize that I can start forming my own sentences now that actually make sense, which is very exciting. I am still having a hard time following someone who is speaking straight Tagalog (as apposed to Taglish, which is an actual thing). Although I am able to pick up some sentences and words if I focus really hard I find it hard to put it all together in time to keep up with the speaker. Other times it seems no matter how hard I focus I can't seen to make sense of anything. As I mentioned above going to the clinic helps my Tagalog a lot. It forces me to speak Tagalog and to decipher it, but by the end of the last 5 days I was there I was so exhausted from Speaking and trying to listen that when I was in the line up to the buses on my way home I went to buy a beg of chips and Sprite and tried to get out the work Magkaano ("how much" in Tagalog) but the word that came out was "Mano" ("how much" in Ilocano) I scrambled to try and correct myself back to Tagalog but the lady exclaimed "Oh Ilocano"
"You are Ilocano?" I asked
"Yes" she answered and I was so relieved, even though I think my Tagalog is now more than my Ilocano (although I think I still know more birth language in Ilocano) there are many words that I am more comfortable with and used so often in Tabuk that I always resort to those. I have had many moments where I cannot get the English words out Or find the right vocabulary for Tagalog the result is that I sometimes go mute when I need to answer someone. Last night someone asked me a question and the English words all bumped into each other. So instead I took a deep breath and formed a very ill grammar-ed sentence of Tagalog to explain. So I figured that's a good sign :)
So, that's some of the highlights from the last several weeks.
\as far as the internal things...
I am surprised at how much I feel I have grown and learned in the last 5 months. And the last few weeks as mentioned already have been a lot busier, I feel that my confidence and assertiveness is increasing, I realized that this is something that must increase for work in the mission field. God has been teaching me a lot and the learning process happening at Safe is massive. I have mixed emotions about the increased business, I love that my days feel fuller and I feel that I am really becoming a part of things but I sometimes I feel its harder to spend more time with the girls, I haven't even really been able to go running with them at the jogging oval, which was something I had more freedom to do before. I am hoping that as these weeks of transition into my new role settle down, it will be easier.
There are always lots of emotions in this ministry, and the adjustment process is on-gonig, Though I do feel I am adjusting much faster than I did in Tabuk, which makes sense as this is my second go at Missions in the Philippines. But there are still lots of ups and downs. Also, the approaching month is the time of year my homesickness goes up several notches, April is our lambing season at home, and is my favorite time of year, Sometimes I miss home more during this time than Christmas. In Tabuk it was helpful having Babies to deliver to distract me, allowing myself to take pleasure in that I could at least still be around birth, but I won't have any babies to deliver in April as I have no plans to go to the clinic until May. However with Summer and increased activities with the girls I will probably be busy enough to at least be a little distracted. But God is good and He gives me strength, His Faithfulness is constant and ever true.
As a whole I think things are going very well, I really love these girls and love this ministry and know this is where God wants me to be.
Well, Its time to bring this very long post to a close and go over prayer requests and thank you's.
Thank you
-For God's sustenance
-For new relationships
-For the new learning curves
Requests
-Language
-Wisdom
-Boldness
-Still praying for a new computer
-Patience
As always thank you all for your prayers and support! and remember you can always follow Safe refuge on facebook or instagram, where you will get daily updates and pictures.
Signing off
thesheepishmidwife
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